Do you ever feel like you are doing ‘not enough’?
Or that what you have done ‘could have been better’?
I have struggled with this and am always working on my own acceptance. Whilst also helping others with theirs!
How do we measure when something is enough?
Is there not always more to be achieved?
In American culture, and British too, we often find ourselves striving for more.
Bigger, better, bolder…
Fitter, faster, stronger…
Who has the biggest house and the fastest car? Is that success? Does that make you happier?
This week I was listening to a podcast with Tim Ferris and Daniel Ek, the founder of Spotify.
Daniel is Swedish but has created a successful global company and knows American culture well!
https://open.spotify.com/episode/1fxjCxkkNEaMqJZeLzJ8c8?si=cpNS2LP_RlOV38JTKSlWzQ
Within Spotify they often discuss the culture of ‘Lagom’. A word which has no literal translation to English but means doing the ‘right amount’, ‘not too little but not too much’… achieving the ‘balance’ that we all desire… after we’ve done a bit more, right? (that’s how my mind generally works, anyway).
This can reflect across all areas of life, of health, and in business.
Are you finding yourself busier and busier? Creating more ideas, more tasks, taking on more clients, always working towards the next accolade…
We all need to earn money, but what’s the point if you never have the chance to enjoy it?
You buy the better car, but what use is it if you’re making yourself ill?
You take time off to recover from illness, but why not take time off to prevent it? To work on improving your wellness?
Achieving greater levels of success, only to focus on the next level…
I’ve felt this one… I’m an English kickboxing champion, and I am pleased with my performance, but… should I dedicate myself to become a world champion? And then what?!
Or, have I managed to find the balance. Is the level that I am now at my version of ‘lagom’?
I also spoke to a Danish friend and Hypnotherapist about this. Interestingly, his translation of it was ‘laid back’. Does this mean you have to have a laid-back approach to life?
I do not believe that it means to not strive to achieve more.
My interpretation is that it means to look at all areas of your life and decide where you wish to spend your time, and more importantly, energy.
And, with focus, resilience, and determination, you can actually produce the processes, to preserve your energy and improve your performance.
Whilst sticking to a ‘lagom’ (balanced and healthy) approach.
The levels of dedication, and the lifestyle, it took to become a champion will not be suitable for the majority.
I had to sacrifice many social situations, for example. The gym was my social life.
And I worked in a pub – I worked the late-night shifts and the weekends, to earn my income! This also allowed me another, different to usual, social life!
My relationship could have suffered greatly, had it not been for his understanding and support, and that he fights, and is a black belt, too. Out time together was often training together… then eating and being exhausted, together!
My health was becoming affected too – I have had to rest a recurring shoulder injury over the last year; had I continued to push through, it very possibly would have resulted in needing an operation!
I am now in a position where I am needing to find this level of balance with my business.
I am experiencing an increased demand for my 1-1 hypnotherapy, so I have established boundaries and I must stick to them. Even though I would like to help more people, it will become too much, if I am not careful. Then everyone will suffer
Balance is not something you find, it is something you create – Jana Kingsford
I can find ways around this – group sessions and audio recordings, for example.
But, ‘doing more’, is not the answer. Because I want to keep the quality high, of the sessions that I provide. And I must practice what I preach and prioritize my own health!
Another example of this that springs to my mind is the story of Icarus and the moral being to not fly too high, else the sun will melt the wax of your wings, but also not fly too low, else the sea mist will get caught in your feathers and weigh you down!
And, this level will be unique to you!
If you find yourself wanting to achieve more, that’s great! But also consider the changes you will have to make, the sacrifices, perhaps?
Or, are you happy with what you have already achieved?
Would you like to turn your attention towards something else?
Happiness is not a matter of intensity but of balance and order and rhythm and harmony – Thomas Morton
There is no right or wrong answer, so don’t compare yourself to others.
It’s your life, live it for YOU!
But, know that you are capable, and if there is something you want to change, you can achieve the results you desire, as long as you believe in your ability and find the right processes (and remove what is holding you back!)