‘Mum… will you do it for me… Please?’
When I got offered to coach the ‘female-only’ kickboxing class, I rang my mum.
And I asked her to begin training, to support me…
She really didn’t want to, and came up with the usual excuses of ‘I’m not fit enough’, ‘My knees won’t like it’, ‘I’ll never be able to do that’ etc.
But, eventually, she agreed, for me!
I grew up with both of my parents addicted to heroin, becoming alcoholics later in life too.
I am pleased to say they are now both completely clean and my mum is my greatest success story!
Can you imagine how proud of her, I am now?
Not only has she overcome addiction but she has managed to transform her life; her health, her fitness, and her mindset!
She began kickboxing at 52… incapable of kicking above my knee…and she can now kick me in the head. She is a blue belt and I hope for her to become my first blackbelt too!
She attends my regular group coaching and hypnosis sessions; she is always at book club and is continually working on her own personal development… And I don’t think she has missed a single online kickboxing class – which she attends on her tablet, from the comfort of her living room, with Murphey the border collie, and often his toy chicken, in the background!
She has been at every one of my fights too… That means the world to me, as I know she hates it! She’s never liked violence, and she doesn’t want to see her daughter get hurt!
She has always been there to support me, even when she needed support herself too!
I struggled a lot throughout my teenage years, and I stopped attending school. My anxiety increased and my self-esteem plummeted. And I’m sorry mum for the stress that this created for you!
I believed that my key to success was getting good grades – I was ‘academic’. Not sporty, not creative… But I was predicted an A* in maths and science…
But I didn’t sit the exams, so I have no G.C.S.E’s…
Can you imagine feeling like you are both a success and a failure, simultaneously?
I had lovely friends, but I lived in fear of them.
In fear of being found out and rejected… as I felt like I was not ‘as good as them’ (this was not their fault at all, I had created this fear in my mind).
I desperately wished that we had a family like theirs… And I had to hide who I really was.
Although I previously wasn’t aware, this created anxiety that I have been carrying with me since.
Leaving me with trauma, which hypnotherapy has now allowed me to heal from, hence I can write this, for you to read!
If you have ever experienced anxiety, you will know what it feels like to fight.
‘Fight, flight or freeze’ is a natural response, and I’ve done plenty of all three!
And you probably have, too…
Any situation where you have felt that fear escalate inside your mind; with your thoughts racing, your heart pounding and your shoulders tensing up to ears…
But, what if you could learn to use your anxiety to your advantage?
What if it can become an asset to your performance, in life, and in business?
What if you really do have what it takes to overcome those negative thoughts and, by stepping out of your comfort zone, you can achieve your own success?
I learned to fight long before I stepped in the ring.
The experiences that I went through growing up, and especially through my teenage years, enabled me to become the ‘fighter’ I am today, and for that I am grateful.
I started my relationship with Steve at 17 he has been here to support me ever since. Even though I split up with him at 22, to go traveling South East Asia, alone…
He was the one who held my hand on the way to the gym, for my very first kickboxing session, just after my 19th birthday…
Do you have a turning point in your life?
The one where you finally began to overcome what had been holding you back?
You knew it would be difficult … but you managed to face the fear?
That’s what beginning kickboxing was like for me.
I couldn’t even do 1 press up, but I had begun. That was my first win.
And winning becomes ‘addictive’.
I wouldn’t have said I was ‘naturally competitive’… but I guess I do perform well under pressure, as long as I don’t choose avoidance.
Anyway, it took me many years and lots of losses before I became a champion.
Luckily, throughout my life, I have learned resilience.
Do you agree that it is from our toughest ‘losses’ that we learn the most?
Here is my recent blog, on my last loss (it was such a TOUGH FIGHT!)
I wasn’t sporty/athletic when I was younger.
I went from fat and unfit to skinny and weak… Kickboxing allowed me to find my strength, mentally and physically!
It was becoming a champion that increased my confidence, to go self-employed, too.
After 8 long years working in a pub, I had savings, a strong work ethic, and determination… overcoming the fear was the final step.
I told myself – ‘If you can overcome the fear of stepping in the ring, how hard can working for yourself be?’
And I had begun to believe in my own ability too…
It’s safe to say I underestimated how tough going self-employed would be, especially as we got hit with a global pandemic, so everything had to change!
But what do you do, in the face of adversity? Give up, or fight back harder?
I decided to study hypnotherapy throughout 2020, upon the recommendation of one of my closest friends, Justin. I was unsure, but I trusted his judgment… And I agreed that it did seem like a ‘useful tool’ to add to my coaching, to help others…
Little did I realize how transformational it would be, FOR ME!
It has been hypnotherapy that has allowed me to finally heal from my trauma.
And throughout all of my experiences and study, I have learned the most valuable lesson…
That our health MUST be our priority!
We must look after ourselves, as an individual, but we thrive as part of a community.
‘A community creates belief’ – Lee Ann Kaskutas
As humans, we have an innate need for connection.
The struggles are never quite as bad, with support.
If an individual is skeptical about their ability to change by themselves, often a group will help them to suspend this disbelief….
I have always been part of powerful communities. In the pub, the gym, and then in business, online, even.
You are on your own in that ring, but you do not get there without a coach in your corner and teammates supporting you through your toughest training.
This is why I have created an online community.
So, we can ‘train’ together.
With a focus on your health, which will benefit your business too!